100th day of JT experience ♥

Waiting in vain and the agony of patiently waiting for that day to come.  Yes, it did! J It was fast and unexpected, blissful and colourful though. Wish we can time travel; I can tour you in the 100^th day of waiting ♥

It was Friday, last day of a long dreadful week and I was still having a bad day. More irritated, I received a message on a lunch break (some people are just so insensitive, not thinking I also know how to have lunch) but the minute I saw his name, (*sigh*) I had to bit my lip to hid my sweet-secret smile. (so let’s strike this:some people are so insensitive not to think I also know how to have lunch) It’s been quite a while since I saw him or even hear from him. The same reason I asked him “Resigned ka na ba? Hindi kasi kita nakikita eh J” For the nth time, there goes on the long-asaran-kulitan times which ended in meeting up the following day, Saturday??? Yes! Apparently, I agreed to go to office on a weekend and the supposed start of a 10-day vacation. Press release: I have tons of works to do (which is true); despite of the “me-going-to-office-on-a-Saturday” idea doesn't sound so great. Mortal sin indeed, because: this is a volunteer work! We have no overtime pay and the company will not put up a shrine or rebulto for me. So what motivated me? You ♥

Finally! The much-awaited, long overdue Bonchon-treat/bayad-utang/secret date! (last description applies just for me. haha). Yes! This is it! I was so thrilled; I can’t imagine how Saturday will be. I find it hard to sleep, thinking of what will happen on that day. (crossing all my fingers) thinking of what to wear. I opted for jeans-shirt-flops-that-shows-your-curve, √√√! Checking and how do I look and smell. Haha! Of course not to let him know the obvious: I went to office because of him. PLUS the biggest fear of the day, he might not show up. Around 10am, I texted him and got the response few minutes before 2pm. I already missed lunch, wishing we can have lunch together. But he didn’t texted that we are going to meet up, unfortunately it was my biggest fear, “Hi Mayna, Hindi ako sigurado kung aabutan kita jan ha ö. May konting errands lang” My world came tumbling down. I was hurt. I committed a big no-no, I expected from him. He did not promise to me nor commit anything. I volunteered to waste my time & effort to go to work and see him. And that makes me so vulnerable in getting hurt. I was working on some reports that very moment but my mind and heart were shattered. I was thinking how did I let that happened? And am I really hurting? Why? I do not want to blame him, there’s no one to blame. The same he's off to an 11pm flight for an out-of-the-country personal trip and has to be in the airport by 7pm. So end of the road, it’s not gonna happen. It’s not meant for now or not meant at all, I convinced myself.

Thanks to Eunice and Rhema, they give me courage to move along. Encouraged me to finish my work and go home by 4pm whether he can’t make it. I focused my mind on my work while my heart kept hurting. After 2 hours, he texted me again asking how am I doing. I wanted to tell him, “you just broke my heart” of course I didn’t tell him that! (though, I wish I could! haha) I answered calmly, took a while to reply so he would think I was busy-bee working my ass off! I was actually busy cursing him! After a few exchange of texts, I gave up, I guess it was bound not to happen at all. May be God has other plans. I suddenly felt contented; at least I was one of the few persons he talked before he left. (Consuelo de bobo for myself. ugh)

Suddenly he texted, “I can make it in an hour. May alternative ba yun Bonchon mo? Gusto mo soup?”. I did not want to believe him and he might get late for his flight. But he insisted J so I was like, I’m gonna faint, faint, faint! I was so happy, I cannot contain my happiness, and I danced! (kahit nakikita ako sa CCTV camera sa office. Hahaha!) because we can’t make it to Bonchon and I’m not really a fan of it, he picked me up at office went to the nearest Starbucks! Woohoo! And yes, I was able to send my friends a message as it happens! It was fairly a 30-minute ride and we went back to office.

I was happy and it lingers. ♡ I thank God for that moment, it was sweet. ♡

My ultimate JT experience did not stop there. I managed to pull off a part two of that sweet moment, but my treat this time (oh yes, diskarteng-marina!) I just wish he’ll be as stubborn like me. J Again I have something to look forward to, but also reason to get hurt.

Like any other sweet experience, there’s always the down side of it. He was afraid that people will spot us together. And it hit me, the reason he parked a bit further from the main gate when he picked me up and wished he gets first before his friends do. Sabi nya “baka sabihin may kasama akong chicks” then he smiled at told me, “sabay na tayo bumaba”. I shrugged it off and just toyed with the idea. Then I realize, maybe he’s seeing somebody else and he didn’t want to be seen with me because of the plain and simple reason that he just doesn’t like to be seen with me. L And again, I shrugged it off. I want to believe that he was protecting me and not himself. Why? There’s a part two of the JT experience to find out J

There goes my novela, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Hahaha! J Now, no more denials and inhibitions, this is not just a simple high school crush. I mean, do high school students keep tabs on their crush, more like of stalking? J where in the world he’s right now? Oh boy. I'm supposed to sacrifice that part for holy week. I just can't really help myself. Despite of several warnings from Kit, "walang patutunguhan yan pon".

Hell to that, all I can say is, I’m in love ♡

PS. I’m just not sure if I’m ready to get hurt. L